Last night we went out. Past 8 it was.He asked me to choose where I wanted to go for that coffee. As usual, I wanted to defer the deciding to him. When confronted with a question of "where do you like t0...want to...." my mind automatically hangs. It freezes and decides it doesn't want to decide. Wonder why.
Mostly, I don't want to be a bother. I still carry that wounded archaic notion of my inner child, "I'm just a bother." Silly and irritating but I can't help it. It creeps unexpectedly from nowhere. The way a multitude of my other idiosyncrasies do.
I grappled for awhile. The mere thought weighed heavy. Then I heaved uncertainly, " probably Britanny Bay or Westgate.....the little donut shop there? "
"Please make up your mind, I have to make a turn soon,"he went.
"Ok...Britanny," I replied.
So we had coffee overlooking the bay, making out the faint flutter and flicker of boat lights from afar. Cappuccino from Figaro.
I was wearing an old gray shirt and jeans plus my sneakers. Not the pic shown here. Nothing fantastic. I made for the loo' one time but didn't bother to brush my hair.
- January 21, 2009
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